he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
