Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I want her autograph on my taint
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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