when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I think my moral compass just broke
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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