I think my vagina is haunted
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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