Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize