I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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