I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize