My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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