I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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