That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
two words: eviction party
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
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Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
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I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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