I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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