So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize