I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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