We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
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Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
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He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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