I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
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He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
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He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize