I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize