I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize