I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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