i need an iv and a liver transplant
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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