Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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