why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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