When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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