Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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