This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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