Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
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I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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