just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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