Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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