Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize