Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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