i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize