took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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