My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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