My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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