dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
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she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
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it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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