Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
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Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
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ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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