You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize