hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize