Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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