The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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