They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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