Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
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Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
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Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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