I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
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His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
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I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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