I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
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He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
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Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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