"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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