I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize