Ketchup is God's man juice
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
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Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
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THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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