the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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