feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize