Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I color on your dick again?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
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