I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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